Thesis

I'm writing a thesis, and will temporarily use this space as a sounding board for the thoughts whose buoyancy keeps them from immediate absorbtion into the churning class-5 river that is the flow of my intellectually viable outpouring. And here's the place I write when I don't know what to write. I'm writing about George MacDonald's ouevre, or however you spell that damn fancy word, but am covering 3 representative works of his.

My director says that 2 pages a day is pretty good. Sometimes I can get to three. Because writing is writing, and all writing can be practice, this little blogblog might facilitate the greasing of mind-wheels. The people who make stuff and get places are the people i want to be like. In the circuitous process of finding and committing to the intellectual trajectory of this big paper, I have found a number of interesting people on the internet. One of them is a mother of six who lives in the south of France, and the other is a wild-eyed children's book author who wears rainbow-colored sneakers and sunglasses, and rolls around on the floor as he acts out his stories.

The sun is out today, and I'm in the living room of my parents' house on the couch stealing myself to write some pages near the window and above the smooth and muted reflection of sun off of the wood-laminate floor. The life I want is just outside, but this where I am is the process of getting there. It is not the south of France, and I am not doted on by a brilliant husband and surrounded by rosy-cheeked children, but I am safe and warm and living with two of my favorite people on the planet, and getting paid (something) to write. Because of this, I've begun to think of myself as a professional.

When the picture in your head doesn't match the picture you see around you, something in that one-to-one relationship has to change, and you either adjust your expectations to the current outcome, or you put your shoulder to the wheel and pushpushpush that cart from the rut.

These thoughts that I set down here will not always go together, and I will not always attempt to connect them with their tangential threads of connection, but they are all stirring in the same pot, so maybe for now that is enough.